Thursday, December 10, 2009

just ONE word

hey!

Its late at night, may be not for most of you guys, but surely for me...still i'm banging my head against the lappy, as i'm hardly able to get over the busy tiring day amidst which i had many a weird and oft repeated thoughts, some which can be mentioned here but are a taboo from my family and some, reading which even you guys might be shocked!!!

It was just the beginning of a long day shopping at the Lajpath Nagar Central Market (donno if its correctly called so) when the endless chain of anxiety, anger, frustration, irritation and so many other feelings which I don't even have words for, started... it was when i was getting ready for the BIG day... i was about to visit my grandma's place after the shopping, and expectedly I was supposed to wear a turban there...

Its not that I have never worn the Big one earlier in my life, its just that the very idea of flauting it on my head, in the crowd where not none are like me, but none like me (that's completely my own point of view...you may find me the smartest surd ever, but my eyes beg to differ) except expectedly my mom among other family members...

So finally with my eyes closed...yes... Literally closed and my dad haven decorated the so-called sacred piece of cloth on my little little head... and then tied my well gelled beard to a neat one!!! (well, if this much neatness is allowed, then why not to the extent i want?) we left the house without me being reassured by the answer of "Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most HIDEOUS of them all"!

If all this was not enough, this guy had to enter the Koutons showroom with his father exactly the same time as our shopping there... naah... i dont't have a crush on the guy (really?)... the guy was actually a sikh with his hair cut and was clean shaven too... and thankfully unlike many other hair-cut sikh guys he was not wearing a cap to hide/cover/whatever his head!

How does it affect me??? i was already fighting myself through my innermost largely unacceptable feelings, and suddenly someone comes and yells out at my face "LOOK... I HAVE ALL YOU WANT!!!"

Not shopping a single thing for myself was just one part of the story, but facing my family with a looOOoong face the entire day, saying a NO to whatever they offer to buy me, and ultimately ending the day with no results, just a blog entry is what I gained!!! Once my toungue went over to the extent of blurting out "jo chahiye wo to milta nahi hai" which earned as skeptical ears as eyes does my face!

Its not that I never talked about this with my family, but its that they consider it to be a topic of "Teaching Gurmeet" rather than a topic of "gurmeet's happiness" that I didn't discuss it today, even when they were making wild guesses of my dull mood; note... not very much asking me the same, except at my grandma's place in front of half a dozen other people ready to alienate me and my family upon a mention of something like that from any of us... listening this end most of my discussions with my parents about my happiness and perhaps self-confidence!

4 comments:

Gurmeet Singh said...

frank and unbiased comments are very welcome :)

Anonymous said...

it looks through your blog that ur mood is off ...
hey its true that it was disturbing to you but if you look through their place they want you to be happy only but their criteria of happiness dis-matches with yours...
in the end they are our parents they genuinely care for us ...
instead of being unhappy with thoughts banging in ur head just speak freely with them and put ur ideas clearly in front of them..
I am sure they will certainly understand..

Anonymous said...

hey look, if wearing it off is really gonna boost ur confidence or put you on cloud nine, then you can just say that to ur parents. however, i dont think that it will really work magic...atleast not a lasting one... i noe that you have had rough times coz of it but the more important fact is that u are a successful guy today with a productive outlook and future... i'm sure your family loves you and is wholly proud of you for that.. so why restrain yourself with such narrow thoughts? open your mind and try to see beyond the trivial, man and you will find confidence in a lot of other things... at the very least, you should thank god that you are in much better condition that a billion other people on earth and so you dont have the right to frown :) so cheer up and start doing productive things... and one more thing.. remember that our parents cannot possibly think harm of us.. they are our creators...our TRUE god... so disregarding them or thinking of them as if they dont understand us is out of question, you know... you wouldnt think so of god, would you? :P
ps: dont blame me for making it long.. u asked for it :D

Gurmeet Singh said...

@bove: thanks :)
to conclude...ur comment was long but well invited and i appreciate ur words and advice...as usual! :) thanks!

@further above: as u said... i discussed and we've reached at a 'delaying agreement'! thanks :)

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Silent Spectator, Tolerant, Observant, Emo, Easy going, Boring to some, Shy, what do u think? Professional Sites: 1) http://iitg.academia.edu/GurmeetSingh 2) http://sites.google.com/site/gurmeetcv/curriculum-vitae

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